So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
