just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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