why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
No stitches, just platelets and will power
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
