Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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