Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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