I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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