Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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