He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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