I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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