I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he thought i was a dude.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
