The maid of honor just puked.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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