oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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