Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
