They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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