cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
