you win again, gameday.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
a search helicopter?!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
