I must be too annoying 4 u.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Mom said you looked used
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
