had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
