rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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