I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
