When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
