and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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