don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
is it fun? or sober?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
