I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize