Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I smell stomach acid.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
