If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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