Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
