I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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