Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
