Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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