There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
