I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
