His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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