ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
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