Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
