Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
