You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
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There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize