His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
