Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
