this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
