Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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