her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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