it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
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Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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