1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize