and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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