He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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