last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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