i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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