glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
