That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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