Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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