Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
honey bunches of taint.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
