We named our party play list daddy issues
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I will pee on everything he values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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