he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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