I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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