is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
