Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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