My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize
